Do you have instigators in your life?

Do you have people in your life that seem to instigate and escalate conflicts frequently? What can you do about it?

I find that examining whether their opinion of me is something that I actually care about helps put it all in context.

I also find the skilled use of boundaries to be very helpful in distancing myself from it.

I like to consider what their motivation is in starting the conflict too. Is it a power play? Do they need attention? Have they never learned to control their diarrhea of the mouth? Do they need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves.

If it’s someone you can’t easily disengage from, I find that some self-nurturing also helps.

I’m in favor of not giving those who thrive on conflict any energy in my life. They can’t argue with only themselves very effectively.